Are you a dweller? You make a mistake and it haunts you. Or, someone else made a mistake and you obsess over what they should have done differently. You think of everything you never had the courage to act on or actually voice. Why, why, why? What if? Only if I had…
My son Orin just started playing basketball this year; he’s got some good talent but is still learning the basics. I noticed him being overly hard on himself and it occurred to me he just couldn’t get past his mistakes…or at the minimum they would bother him for too many plays. I gave him two little phrases: “Own it and move on.” and “My bad.” “My bad.”, is a humble recognition that he screwed up; a powerful admission that can put his mind and his teammates’ minds at ease. They don’t need to fear he didn’t see where he fell short, and he doesn’t need to make an excuse for it. I’ve seen and lived the opposite and know that as soon as you start to dwell, you take yourself out of the moment and the mistakes compound. You forget to live (or play hard) because you’re afraid. At least I have.
Navel gazing isn’t the answer
Our decisions have repercussions and “owning” it may take time to repair certain relational, financial or emotional damage. But navel gazing and working around/ignoring our mistakes takes time too. The difference is that one is time spent moving forward and experiencing personal growth, and the other leaves you stuck in defeat and discouragement.
Own it and move on. Whether it be with your spouse, business partner, kids or your teammates. Is there something you’re dwelling on today? It might be time to humble yourself, apologize if necessary, and get back in the game.